Almost forgot to hop on the scale this morning, that's how little I have been caring lately about tracking and managing my weight goals. Dang it! Why am I struggling? Not really sure... Seems that I am happy to be where I am at, but then again.... not really. I am so ecstatic to not be making excuses of why my clothes don't fit or why I am hovering over the 200 lbs mark. But there is still alittle piece of me that has now become accustomed to being back at a much more reasonable size for my body and now thinks ICK! YOU SHOULD BE DOING BETTER THAN THIS! And what proactive and motivating activity does this alter-ego push me to do? Run a mile? no... Ride my bike? no.... Go for a walk? no, no, no! Take a bath and crawl into bed in the afternoon? BINGO!
Who doesn't battle with self-sabotage? We all do everyday. I don't care if someones life appears magical from the outside, even the most confident and happiest people are plagued with self doubt. We fight it every minute of every day. The most important weapon when fighting the bloody battle within your own brain is to always find the tiniest shred of a positive side to cling on to. What's mine? I have an amazing support system! I have a husband who is FINALLY on board with getting healthier and making positive changes. I have found a group of truly amazing and brave women who not only push me and encourage me to keep trying but are honest with each other and themselves. Women live in a world that makes it so hard to be real and talk about the nitty gritty and be confident that we won't be stoned in a public square for being open and honest. I also am confident in most of the decisions I make for my family. Sometimes I screw it up, but whatever, can't go back and change it, so work with it and move forward, right?
So here we go! Working with it and moving forward!
(And my wieght today? A yo-yo-ing 174)
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